I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
