i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
40s are totally the cure
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
is it fun? or sober?
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