Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
