U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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