just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
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Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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