Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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