He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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