Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
