He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
