You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
