not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
