Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
i think we sleep fucked last night...
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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