Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
