whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
should my penis look like a turkey
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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