I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
