well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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