I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
