Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
