HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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