So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
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