Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
