It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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