Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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