But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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