i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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