Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
