brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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