Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
