drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
