im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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