Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
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I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
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Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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