I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
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I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
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CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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