Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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