Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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