hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
