STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize