the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
