Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
