i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
