Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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