The maid of honor just puked.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I think my nap took me to another dimension
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
