From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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