He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
