Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
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Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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