just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
