Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
