she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
