We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Randomize
