my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
