I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
