I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
