i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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