two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
