she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
