The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
