A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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