did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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