she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
