Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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