The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
