On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize