I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Randomize
